Dallas Mavericks: Not Real, Never Was Real, Never Gonna Be Real

Posted in Uncategorized by ayb984 on November 12, 2008

Lakers Mavericks BasketballLakers 106, Mavericks 99.  Although this was the closest thing to a nailbiter this season for the Lakers, the game wasn’t as close as it might have seemed.  This game was actually already lost by the Mavericks when Kobe Bryant was actually born, again when they thought that Dirk Fakevitzki was a star player, then again when they thought they were going to be real by getting Jason Kidd.  Sure a lot of shit has happened since then, but all of those factors have culminated into this loss today on November 11, 2008.

Newsflash Cuban!  Your team sucks not because of the coach or lack of a point guard.  You suck because of the usual reason why teams suck or don’t suck – the players.  You retardedly gave away an all-star caliber point guard in Devin Harris.  Probably the only real players on the team now is Jason Kidd, Gerald Green and Brandon Bass.  Sure, Josh Howard and Jason Terry are good offensive players but they are one-dimensional players essentially who will fall by the wayside as they age since they have no other skill set to fall back on.  Gerald Green is surely cuban_sad1rough around the edges, but the kid’s got talent.  He reminds me a lot of J.R. Smith of a couple years ago.  Sick as fuck, but just gets too cocky in the fourth quarter and takes Kobe-esque shots.  Oh well, that’s better than being fake.  The other players aren’t too pretty to look at either.  Jerry Stackhouse is Jerry Stackhouse.  Erika Dampier is a slight improvement over Kwame Brown, while the other players just don’t matter enough.

As far as their “star” player goes, Dirk is an excellent spot up shooter.  That’s why he owns 3 point contests because those shots are shot in a vacuum – no defender, balls are on racks, etc.  However, once he’s on the move, he can’t seem to gather himself to take a technically sound jumpshot.  His legs are like action-figure legs and don’t seem to have the flexibility that human athlete legs are supposed to have.  As you all know, legs are the foundation for a jump shot or layup, so if they are being fake then the shot will be as well (See Exhibit A).  The next knock on Dirk’s shooting technique is his constant need to fade away and fall down on jumpshots (See Exhibit B).  He might as well shoot lying down.  Kobe’s fadeaways are controlled and serve a purpose.  Dirk will shoot these shots over Allen Iverson from 8 feet away.  Unreal.  If he can learn to stay on his feet and shoot shots standing straight up, he will drastically see improved results and possibly more wins.  Until then it’s fake city for Fakevitzki.

Exhibit A

Lakers Mavericks Basketball

Exhibit B


Okay, I’ll stop the Mavs-hating.  I’ll only do this 3 more times this year I promise.  Back to the game.  The best stretch of the game came just after an explosive Gerald Green dunk that put the Mavs up 81-76 at the start of the fourth, when a 7-0 run featuring a Sasha Vujacic three, Lamar Odom finish in the lane and Trevor Ariza two-handed flush from the baseline gave L.A. a lead it would not concede. Nine points in the next two minutes from Kobe Bryant, some of which were of the truly special variety, helped build an eight-point Lakers lead, and a collectively strong defensive effort that limited Dallas to 20 fourth-quarter points sealed the deal.  This is a testament to the fact that the Lakers can play horribly for most of the game and still pull out a win on the road.  This game was won through defense and bench play – two telling signs of playoff success.

The Lakers have everything to look forward to.  As far as the Mavs go, they could have spent their Veteran’s Day running errands or going to their daughters’ volleyball game or something.  Instead, they decided to waste people’s time.


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